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The Talmud teaches: "The right hand draws the child close; the left hand pushes away." The Rabbis are saying that the right hand symbolizes kindness matched with strength ; the left hand represents strict judgment that comes with weakness. We are taught that the true root of parenting is support and love; punishment is to be used rarely.
The Talmud records how the Elder Rabbi Eliezer was asked by his Talmudim, "How far should one go in honoring his father and mother?"
He replied, "Go and see what Dama ben Nesina of Ashkelon did. When his mother, who was feebleminded, hit him with her sandal in the presence of the entire court over which he presided, he only said to her, 'Enough, mother.' Moreover, when her sandal, with which she was hitting him, fell from her hand, he picked it up and handed it back to her, so that she would not get upset." (Tractate Peah 1:1). Dama was a non- Jewish mayor and army commander.
Once Dama was with Roman noblemen, and he was dressed in his silk finest. His mother came into the room, and tore off his clothes, hit him on the head, and spit on him. Dama did nothing to his mother. (Tractate Kiddushin 31a).
The Talmud tells of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. He stated "G!d made honoring parents even greater than honoring G!d. For concerning honoring G!d it says, 'Honor G!d with your substance.' If you have means you have to give to charity and if you don't have the means you don't have to give. But when it comes to honoring parents, even if you have very little yourself and even if you have to go begging you still have to honor them and help them." (Talmud Yerushalmi Tractate Kiddushin 1:7)
Talmud Bavli Tractate Kiddushin 31b tells us about Rabbi Tarfon and his mother. He would get on his hands and feet, and allow her to use his back as a footstool to climb in and out of her bed. Rabbi Tarfon's mother went for a walk on Shabbat, tore her sandal, because it was Shabbat, it couldn't be fixed. Rabbi Tarfon put his hands under the soles of her feet and she walked home on his hands. Yet his fellow rabbis did not think this was going as far as the commandment suggests."Did she ever take all your money and throw it into the sea, and you not chastise and shame her? If this would happen, then you truly would show you honor your mother and father."
Rabbi Yosef, another Talmudic teacher, when he would hear his mother's footsteps, would say, "I must rise for the presence of the Shechina which is approaching." (Tractate Kiddushin 31b Bavli) .
Everything I am today and have today I owe to G!d and my parents. My parents and G!d were and still are partners in the continual creation and edification of me. Thus, honoring my parents, specifically my mother, on the simcha of her birthday, and G!d willing every day, is honoring G!d.
May it be Your will, Adoshem, our G!D and G!D of our patriarchs and matriarchs, that I, My parents, my sister, my beloved wife, be granted strength and health so that we may be able to serve you truthfully and joyfully. Inspire me to listen and obey my parents, and honor them constantly, as it is Your will for me. Amen.
Shalom,
Rabbi Arthur Segal
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
