Talmudic Discourses 7

 

Shalom Talmudim and Rabbi Abrams:

 

I need to first off admit that I have never read a Harry Potter book nor seen a movie of Harry Potter.

 

Perhaps it is because there are mitzvoth for us to not to consult yid'onim (wizards) (Lev. 19:31), or not to practice nachesh (doing things based on signs and portents; using charms and incantations) (Lev. 19:26) or not to practice kisuf (magic using herbs, stones and objects that people use) (Deut. 18:10) or not to practice kessem (a general term for magical practices) (Deut. 18:10) or not to inquire of a yid'oni (wizard) (Deut. 18:11) , et. al.

 

I do not want to lead someone to think that these practices are OK for us Jews by having a Jew see me coming out of a Harry Potter movie. (Ma'arit ayein), as it is also a mitzvah not to lead someone to sin. (Talmudically {Lev. 19:14} 'do not put a stumbling block before the blind,' has been interpreted to mean this [Pesachim 22b, Nedarim 62b, Bava Metziah 75b, Moed Katan 17a]).

 

Or perhaps the emet may be more that I cannot get rid of the image burned into my mind of the ultimate sorcerer as Mickey Mouse and I am just too stubborn to allow myself to read about or view another.

 

Does father love differ from mother love?

In truth there should be no difference between a love a father has to his child and a love a mother has to her child. Societal norms set variances into motion. In our Hebraic-Torah culture, we find the father stern, dominate, many times unforgiving, while the mother is nurturing and protective and many times not mentioned at all.

 

Not much if anything is said about the parenting of Adam and Eve, but we do know that Abel grew up correctly and Cain was flawed. And they tried again, had Seth, on whom they placed the hope of world by called him the 'appointed one.'

 

We do not know much of Mrs. Noah but we know Noah was a drunk who had sex with two of his three sons, and the Midrash implies he took 'animal husbandry' to a new level while on board. The raven came back quickly to the arc, as he didn't want Mrs. Raven to be alone with Noah.

 

Sarah was over protective of Isaac, forcing Abraham to push his son Ishmael out of his home. But the Midrash tells us that Abraham went into the desert each day to feed and give water to Hagar and her son. Abraham was willing to kill Isaac, and Sarah died upon hearing this (oral tradition).

 

Jacob gives stern 'blessings' to his sons on his death bed, while it is "Rachael who weeps for her children." (Jeremiah 13:14.)

 

It was Tzipporah who circumcised her sons as Moses was too busy dealing with 'stiff-necked' Hebrews.

 

And this archetype of a nurturing mother versus a judging father is carried out in Greek, Roman and Hindu mythology as well. And Freud and Jung and early psychiatrists base their theories of mental disease and cures on this notion, to the ultimate complexes of Oedipus and Antigone. Christianity has Mother Mary, and Chinese and Japanese religions have Kuan Yin and Kannon as maternal gods.

 

However, cultural anthropologists discovered in the early 20th century that many tribes have the exact opposite culture where in the father is the stay-at-home loving parent, and the mother is the stern judging parent. One tribe in particular, the father is out of the picture, and the uncle is the stay-at-home loving parent.

  How does this manifest itself in our
relationship to God?

 

We traditionally call G!d 'Him' and refer to Him as Avenu, our Father and Malkenu, our King. Those stuck with a bar or bat mitzvah level of education of Judaism, never get beyond the concept of a G!d who is so stern, He causes a flood and wipes out all but a shipful of humanity, destroys cities, wipes out nations, and will even strike you dead if you bring in the wrong formula of incense into His Holy of Holies.

 

G!d is the stern father, the smoter. And then, G!d grows, or better said, Judaism evolves and our conception of G!d grows. Hebrewism becomes Talmudic Judaism. G!d the smoter, now wears a non-smoting patch.

 

G!d now has 13 attributes of mercy. But they are still masculine king-like qualities of a divine benign enlightened dictator.  Talmud Tractate Rosh ha Shana 17b lists them:

 

1. God is merciful before someone sins, even though God knows that a person is capable of sin.
   
2. God is merciful to a sinner even after the person has sinned.
   
3. God represents the power to be merciful even in areas that a human would not expect or deserve.
   
4. God is compassionate, and eases the punishment of the guilty.
   
5. God is gracious even to those who are not deserving.
   
6. God is slow to anger.
   
7. God is abundant in kindness.
   
8. God is the God of truth, thus we can count on God's promises to forgive repentant sinners.
   
9. God guarantees kindness to future generations, as the deeds of the righteous patriarchs have benefits to all their descendants.
   
10. God forgives intentional sins if the sinner repents.
    
11. God forgives a deliberate angering of Him if the sinner repents.
    
12. God forgives sins that are committed in error.
    
13. God wipes away the sins from those who repent.
    

Slowly G!D evolves a feminine side in Judaism, standing 50/50 with his masculine side. We read of this in the Zohar where for example judgment is tempered with mercy, and we have G!d's Holy, (feminine) presence, the Shechinah, abiding with us.

 

Hence our relationship to G!D is one of our ParentS. If we need comforting, G!D will provide us this. If we need sternness from Him when we beg Him to allow us to change, He will provide this as well.

 

The above is somehow lost on many Jews and non-Jews today as I still hear and read about how Judaism is a religion of a God of laws and strict justice, and Christianity is a religion of a God love and forgiveness.

 

2.    It is interesting, I think, that in Harry
Potter, remorse is enough to cure spiritual
damage while in Judaism teshuvah, repentance, is
needed? 

 

Remorse is the first step in realizing we did wrong. If we stop there, it is nothing more than another selfish act. It is still ''all about me." It is from the Latin "to bite again." It is a gnawing distress arising from a sense of guilt for past wrongs. It makes us uncomfortable. Most of the world, takes this discomfort, drinks it away, or pops a pill, or goes watch a movie.

 

Judaism demands action. It is not enough to ask G!D for forgiveness for those fellow humans we have harmed. We have to approach them, at least 3 times, and not only say 'Selicah...I am sorry' but do teshuvah, make them whole again, to the place they were before we harmed them.

 

If we stole someone's car, bringing back the car is not enough. We must pay for the lost nights of sleep, the time they spent looking for the car, their rental car fees, etc.

 

Some deeds are impossible for which to do teshuvah. How does one do teshuvah for being drunk and driving and killing someone's child?

 

Repentance is then able to be done with G!D when we truly find our pesha, chet, and avon to be objectionable to us. With G!d's aid we can cast these upon moving waters, and one day at a time, resist doing these 'sins.' Eventually, the Midrash tells us, we know G!d has forgiven us for our sins, when we have the opportunity to sin, and we do not.

 

 

 

 What do you make of this
cultural/spiritual difference?

 

It is the difference between Judaism and a Hollywood feel-good movie pushing magic. People do not change with a potion of a dried toad and a mouse's eye ball. Jews do not change by throwing a piece of bread on the water and going home with the same resentments and urges to do sin as they did when they walked to the water.

 

Spiritually and culturally, Jews are supposed to be on a spiritual path of getting better each day. We are not saints. A righteous man sins 7 times a day, (Prov. 24:16) yet, admits such, and tries to do better. The rest of humanity, sins and doesn't care to improve and lives a life of selfishness and self-centeredness.

 

3.      As you get ready for the
High Holidays, is there someone in your life who

could use the benefit of the doubt? 

 

Learning not to judge and leaving that up to G!D was something which I only truly learned 6 years ago, this coming October 07. Rabbi Ben Azzai 'also used to say: Despise no man and deem nothing impossible; for there is no man who does not have his day and there is no thing that does not have its place." (Mishna Pirket Avot 4:3.)  I can discern but not judge. I have no true idea, of why people do what they do, even with my own wife, parents or sister. Peoples actions are between them and G!D and years of situations that I can never ever truly understand.

 

Since we are all bound up with G!D and are all His children, being upset with anyone, is being upset with myself. Looking back at the people I was upset with, I found that I was projecting and finding faults in them that I had, but it was easier for me to be upset with them, than to concentrate with fixing, with G!d's aid, what was wrong with me.

 

At this stage in my life, I am resentment free, give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and if I have a question, I asked it of them directly, and do not gossip.

 

Could you
use the benefit of the doubt from someone?

 

I do a chesbon ha nefesh each day. And if G!D forbid I harm another, I make immediate teshuvah. I still fail to treat my wife as lovingly as she deserves to be treated.

 

 Last October, being a new diabetic, I was hypoglycemic, and misspoke. It was something very minor, but a woman, who I knew for 10 years, called me a liar, on email, and cc'ed it to friends of mine. I immediately corrected myself, and apologized to her, and even had my physician call her to tell her that my blood sugar dropping is making me forgetful and confused. And I told her I forgave her for judging me harshly.

 

The upshot is that the folks she cc'ed the email to rallied around me, and she hasn't spoken to me since October 06.

 

That being said, the above answer is still 'no.' When we try to live a life walking with G!D, this does not mean the slings and arrows of others are still not going to be aimed at us. There is a Talmudic prayer from Tractate Beracoth, in our Shacharet service, that asks G!D to protect us from "harsh judgment" from people who are 'in the covenant and who are not in the covenant.'  IF the Sages who wrote the Talmud had loshan ha ra said of them, why would I be immune?

 

Talmudically and spiritually, other people's opinions of me are none of my business, if I am doing the best I can with G!d.

 

Moshe Rabbanu  and Davod ha Melech  and Ha Shem HimSelf  couldn't please every one and neither can I. People damn G!D more each day on this Globe that they do fellow humans. What folly!!!

 

What I pray for, is not that I be given the benefit of doubt by others, but that those who do not give the benefit of doubt to others, learn to do so, and understand that G!D is not happy when others play god.

 

L'shana Tova.

 

Many Blessings,
 Arthur
Rabbi Dr. Arthur Segal

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