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RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:BRACHA (JEWISH PRAYER):CARING FOR ELDERLY PARENTS WITH HONOR
Shalom:
I have been approached my many who are care takers of their elderly parents, or in one case an aunt. God bless them, these folks are in their late 80s, and some even into their late 90s.
And it is hard. If it were easy there would not be commandment to honor our mother and father, and further (Leviticus 19:32): "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honor the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord. "
If it were easy we would not need to be reminded in Proverbs 16:31: ''The hoary (gray, white) head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness. " Or again in Proverbs 20:29:" The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the gray head. "
Adult children in their 50s, or 60s, have their own kids, maybe even their own grand kids, their own spouses, or may be newly single making life even tougher, have jobs, homes to maintain, and we all can add to the list.
And parents at that age, still want their independence yet cannot deal with it.
So I was asked to write a bracha for ask God to help us deal with our elderly parents. Feel free to change the words around as you need. This one is for a father who is a widower. But by a quick change of words, you can make it for a mother who is a widow, or for a parental couple, for an aunt or uncle for whom you are caring.
Just keep in mind this is a wonderful mitzvah you are doing, one of those mitzvoth, which the Talmud calls, a ''mitzvah that can never be repaid.''
And of course honoring one's parents is a commandment.
Best of luck and koach, strength!
Shalom,
Rabbi Arthur Segal
Hilton Head Island,SC
Bluffton, SC
Dear God, my Heavenly Parent:
It has been taught that it takes three to create a human life, a mother, a father and You. You provide my soul, and my human parents everything else. My father has nurtured me when I was unable to do anything for myself. I am certain there were times when he was very frustrated. But You placed inside human parents an innate love for their children so they could over come this natural frustration and nurture us. Now it is my turn as a grown child to nurture my elderly father. You have taught me to honor my parents. Show me each day, many times a day when needed, the way to help my father. Help me understand his needs and provide them for him. Keep me from frustration and anger. Keep me ever reminded of how he and my mother unselfishly gave me life, and the countless hours and days, they put aside their needs to attend to mine. Help me love You, dear God, and by doing so, love my father, so that his last years on this earth can be the best for him, understanding that I can not change him, but only love him as he wishes to be. May it be your will. Thank you. Amen.
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Comments from two local friends who have already begun to use this prayer:
1. Rabbi Arthur, thank you so much. This prayer is so humbling and so right. I do have a huge debt to my parents and it reminds me of that in a way that softens my heart (I'm crying) and makes me want to be gentle and caring to this man who gave me life. This is an important gift you have given me and I will show my appreciation by reciting it for all the days my Dad is here on this earth. God Bless you, D-------
2. Rabbi Art, what a beautiful prayer. Boy, do I need to read that one each and every day. Thank you so much for putting so eloquently in to words, what my heart would like to say. Loving you and yours, K----
Shalom,
Rabbi Arthur Segal
Hilton Head Island,SC
Bluffton, SC
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