Posts
Saying You're Sorry And Making Whole Anyone You Have Harmed With Your Defects; and How To Do This With Someone Who Is Dead, Unable To Be Found, Or Refuses To Speak With You
So far you have learned to identify and admit to your character defects, or sins. You have learned to abhor them and to ask for God's help in ridding yourself of them. This brings us to the last step in clearing up the errors of your past, clearing the path for your connection with God and Spirituality. Now you must be willing to make amends (do teshuvah) with those you have harmed. First, you will make amends with those whom you can contact and with whom you can make amends without doing further harm.
''The Holy One, Blessed be He, was asked, 'What should be the punishment for the sinner?' He answered, 'Let the sinner repent (do teshuvah) and he will find atonement.'" This is the meaning of the verse: "Thus You show the sinner the way. You show the sinner how to repent" (Yalkut Shimoni, Tehilim/Psalms 25). 'Rabbi Yaakov used to say, "One moment of repentance and good deeds in This World is better than all of Life in the World-to-Come" (Pirkei Avot, 4:22).
Remember, you are on a spiritual path and now know that holding grudges is a defect that you wish to remove from your life. You have forgiven anyone who has done you harm. You will discover that many folks out there are not on this same path. They may not wish to see or hear you, but you are still willing to take responsibility for your actions.
An 18-year-old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the girl, her father and her mother and speaks to them, "Good morning. Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I will take responsibility. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life."
"Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in
Verclemt, the mother who has been silent to this point, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You'll try again, right?"
The Hebrew word Selicah means "I am sorry" or "excuse me." You will hear it spoken often on a crowded bus in
Through Teshuvah, you will return those whom you have harmed to the state they were in before becoming the victim of your ill behavior. The best place to start is to ask to speak to them. Tell them that you wish to make amends. Tell them in simple terms of the spiritual path that you now travel. You don't want to go into too much detail because this meeting is not about you; it is about them. To that end, you will need to avoid any mention of their role in whatever it was that put you at odds. Your intention is to make amends for your selfishness, dishonesty or whatever you did to hurt this person. What they did is of no consequence. For example, the old you might say, "I deleted all the songs from your iPod because you threw my cell phone into the pool." The new spiritual you will say, "I hurt you when I deleted all the songs from your iPod and I am sorry. What can I do to make you 'whole' again?" Then, you will be quiet and listen.
Whatever you say, keep it brief. Three or four sentences should do it. Any more and you start to exhibit the same old ego that you are trying to get rid of.
Bernie and Yossi were down on their luck and decided to do some part time external decoration work to earn extra money. To start off their new venture, they asked their Rabbi if he would be interested in having them paint his house, for a very keen price of course. The Rabbi said yes and so Bernie and Yossi went out to buy the paint.
They drove to the local Ace Hardware store in Moonachie to buy the paint. They bought the cheapest paint they could find, which they planned to mix with water to further increase their profits. Then they went back to the Rabbi's house and started work.
When they had finished painting the Rabbi's house, Yossi called the Rabbi and his wife to come out and inspect their work.
"It looks wonderful," the Rabbi said. But as he started to hand them their check, it started to rain quite heavily. All at once there was thunder and lightning, the Rabbi's house was drenched, and the paint started running down the walls.
Suddenly, as the three of them stood there in disbelief, a voice from heaven roared . . . "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
Listen carefully to what the person with whom you are making amends says. Do not interrupt because at this moment this person is your teacher. You may learn something about yourself that you hadn't thought of when you did your chesbon ha nefesh gadol. They might tell you that all is forgotten and you owe them nothing, or they may give you a specific task to do. There is always the chance that they will tell you that you are such a momzer (bastard) that there is nothing you can do to make up for what you have already done. Never put up an argument. Thank them for their time and tell them that you will do your best to fulfill what they have asked of you.
Some of the people with whom you need to make amends may be deceased. This does not let you off the hook! Traditional Jewish ritual asks you to visit their gravesite with a bet din (a group of Rabbis or other Jews) and make amends by speaking to the headstone. This may be appropriate for parents, grandparents, children or a spouse. It is up to you and might depend upon how far you now live from the burial site. If you cannot visit the gravesite, or don't know where it is, there is a custom for making teshuvah with those with whom you cannot speak. Write a sincere letter to the person and then burn it. God, the "Eternal Postman" will deliver it for you. This process is also acceptable for people who, after making a sincere effort, you cannot locate, or for those nameless people in your past that you may have harmed with rudeness or cruel words, like that guy who cut you off on the highway the other day.
You might run into trouble from people who refuse to see you or speak to you, a bitter ex-spouse for example. You may also write a letter to those folks, but only after making a sincere effort to see them face-to-face. Failing that, a letter will suffice, but you can't burn this one, the Eternal Postman may decide that it is in His will that it be stamped "Return to Sender." You'll have to cough up real postage and send it because you are truly willing to make amends. One more thing; don't use email. In the first place, it lacks sincerity. Secondly, the potential for violations of confidentiality are too great and you risk offending your recipient further.
Moishe and Bernie are walking down
Bernie sneaks a peak and says, "What a coincidence, I was going to say the same thing!"
Because we are all so different from one another, we can expect that there are rather broad deviations in the severity of what is revealed from one chesbon to another. Since you must not omit anything, it is highly probable, in fact, I will go so far as to say it is certain, that some of your chesbons include criminal acts. This can make things difficult, to say the least, as you might be faced with the prospect of confessing in vidui to a crime for which the statute of limitations has not expired. I have known people to make teshuvah to people for criminal acts and they were forgiven, but one cannot assume that this will always be the case. This is a very delicate situation and you have to use the utmost common sense. We are dealing with the spiritual, not criminal law. I am a rabbi, not a lawyer, and I cannot offer legal advice. As a general rule of thumb, from a purely spiritual point of view, if you have committed what in the eyes of the law is a criminal act and wish to do teshuvah for it, do so anonymously. Do not put anything in writing, on paper or via email and do not speak of it on the phone. This type of issue should be discussed with a clergy person in the strictest of confidence. So discuss such matters only with somebody you trust completely.
Something you need to consider if you have unpunished crimes in your past is that since you are now living a spiritual life, you must no longer do harm to anyone. If you have a family, for example, and you put yourself in a situation that may see you sent to prison or charged with a substantial fine, both of which will detract from your family's standard of living and cause them to suffer, you are committing a selfish act and causing your family harm.
Again, this is a very sensitive and rather tricky issue upon which you must pray and consult with your Rabbi. If you are uncomfortable or afraid of doing so, please feel free to contact me, anonymously of course, and I will be happy to counsel you.
Rabbi Cohen was saying his goodbyes to his congregation after the Sabbath service as usual when Esther Glickman came up to him in tears.
"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Rabbi Cohen.
"Oh, Rabbi, I've got terrible news," replied Esther.
"Well what is it, Esther?"
"My husband, passed away last night, Rabbi."
"Oh, Esther", said the Rabbi, "That's terrible. Tell me Esther, did he have any last requests?"
"Well, yes he did Rabbi," replied Esther.
"What did he ask, Esther?"
"He said, 'Please, please Esther! Put down the gun!'"
You must take care not to harm somebody while making teshuvah. For example, if you had an adulterous relationship that remains unknown to both parties' spouses, DO NOT make teshuvah by revealing the affair as at least two people will be hurt. The only acceptable teshuvah in this case is to stop the affair if it is still going on, and never have another.
One day as I came home early from work and I saw a guy jogging naked down the street.
I shouted to him, "Hey buddy, why are you jogging naked down the street?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
If you experience fear about doing teshuvah, go back and review your chesbon ha nefesh and read what YOU wrote in the last column about fears. Having trust in an infinite God, and not in your finite self, will help you defeat these fears. Remember, ''There is no one so righteous in the world who does only good, but has never sinned." (Proverbs 7:20).
There are, however, plenty of people who have committed grave sins and never once done teshuvah or single word of selicah. These people have what we call ''righteous indignation.'' They believe that their hate towards others is justified. They are so far removed from the basic concepts of Judaism and God that they are oblivious to the harm they are causing themselves. Justifiable resentments are never justified in Judaism. So chances are, my dear reader, that the person to whom you are going to see to make amends has committed the same 'sins' against someone else. Hence, by making your amends you are teaching that person a spiritual lesson.
If our making a teshuvah visit only serves to show someone how God is now working in our lives and the value of forgiveness, Judaism says that in itself is wondrous. No one is beyond repentance.
Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a 10-ton truck and landed in intensive care. His best friend Morris came to visit him.
"My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside," said Bernie to Morris.
"What does she read?" inquired Morris.
"My life insurance policy."
Our Rabbis taught, "A person should always push away the sinner with the left (generally weaker) hand, but hold him close with the right (generally stronger) hand. Not like Yehoshua ben Perachiah who pushed away his student with both hands." (Talmud Bavli Tractate Sotah 47a).
It is necessary to push away, gently rebuke, the sinner to some extent to let him know that he has gone off the path, but you must never to reject him entirely. That violates the entire spirit of Judaism's approach to sin and its acceptance of repentance.
Rabbi Yehoshua ben Perachia was Jesus's teacher. The Midrash describes a fateful series of events that led to Jesus's separation from his Jewish origins:
Yehoshua ben Perachia and his students were lodged at an inn run by a woman who showed the Rabbi great honor. Afterwards, he remarked, "Wasn't that a nice innkeeper!" One of his students, the young Jesus, responded by saying, "But master, her eyes are crooked!"
Rabbi Yehoshua ben Perachia admonished him, "Wicked person! Is this what you find important?" and had Jesus excommunicated. Each day, Jesus would come before his teacher to ask for forgiveness, but his repentance was not accepted.
On the day that Rabbi Yehoshua finally decided to accept Jesus's repentance, Jesus came for what he had decided would be the last time he would ask forgiveness. As Jesus approached, his master was about to pray the Shema and lifted his hand to cover his eyes as one does when praying the Shema. Jesus interpreted that gesture as yet another rejection, gave up, and went astray.
Later, Rabbi Yehoshua said to him, "Please return."
Jesus responded, "Have you not taught us the principle that for someone who leads others astray there is no possibility of Teshuvah!' (Talmud Bavli Tractate Sotah 47a).
Thus, the Talmud attributes Christianity's origin to the failure of one of the Jewish people's greatest sages to accept the repentance of his student when he should have as Judaism is based equally on forgiveness and love. You learned in an earlier chapter that the Talmud Bavli, in Tractate Beracoth 5a teaches that we cause our own problems as individuals and as a people. (Note that this part of the Talmud was written during a time, post Pagan Roman abuse, when Jews were under the thumb of Eastern Roman Christian control. Jesus never left Judaism, although Paul did to attract Greeks and Romans. Early followers of Rabbi Jesus prayed along with every other Jew, many of whom followed Rabbis of their own.)
Four young novice nuns were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel where the Mother Superior was waiting to perform the ceremony to marry them to Jesus. Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Chassidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns and long beards, carrying siddurs, came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"
One of the four Jews replied, "We're from the groom's side."
No one forced you to buy this book or to embark upon Jewish Spiritual Renewal. You saw that your old way of life was not working and arrived at the decision on your own. You are not doing this because you have to, but because you want to out of your love of God. Resh Lakish said, "Great is Teshuvah, for sins done on purpose are converted to accidental sins." But didn't Resh Lakish say, "Great is Teshuvah for sins done on purpose are converted to good deeds?" The resolution is that the first statement is true when the Teshuvah is done out of fear of Heavenly punishment; the second is true when the Teshuvah is done for the love of God. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Yoma 86b).
Doing Teshuvah is not easy. It is a humbling process that will deflate your ego, but, fortunately, you are not left to do it alone. You just need to get the process started, and then God will join in and help you surmount the difficulty.
Moshe goes to see his Rabbi. "Rabbi, last week I missed saying grace after meals."
"Why?" asked the Rabbi.
"Because I forgot to wash my hands before the meal."
"That's twice you've broken the law but you still haven't told me why."
"The food wasn't kosher."
"You ate non-kosher food?" asked the Rabbi.
"It wasn't a Jewish restaurant."
"That makes it even worse," said the now angry Rabbi. "Couldn't you have eaten in a kosher one?"
"What, on Yom Kippur?"
Rabbi Pinchas the Priest, the son of Chama, said, "The Holy One, Blessed be He, does not desire the punishment of his creatures. For I do not want people to die, says the Lord God, but rather Return and Live." (Ez: 18:32). "As I Live, says the Lord God, I do not want the wicked to die! And what does He want? To find His creatures innocent! The Lord wants to find him innocent…"(Is: 42:21) (Midrash Tanchuma; VaYera).
Once you have made your teshuvah to the people who have allowed you, and made sincere attempts to do so with the folks who want to continue holding a grudge, the process is done.
When Louis was younger, he just hated going to Jewish weddings. All of his uncles and aunts used to come up to him, poke him in the ribs, giggle, and say to him, "You're next, Louis." But they stopped doing that after Louis started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
There is a verse in Psalms 38:19, "I shall tell my transgression; I agonize over my sin." This is fine when doing vidui and objecting to your defects before doing tashlich. However, once you have done teshuvah, made your amends for past transgressions, you can no longer wallow in your sins. You might feel bad about the people who refuse to forgive you, but you cannot let this bother you. They are committing their own sin by holding a grudge.
"Wherever a person's thoughts are, that is where he himself is. If you think about a sin, you are lying in the sin. Regardless of which way one may handle mud, his hands will become soiled." (The Kotzk Rabbi Mendel)
The Talmud says that you will know that God has forgiven you of a defect when you find yourself in a position to act on that defect but avoid it. "What is the definition of one who has successfully done Teshuvah?" Rabbi Yehudah said, "One who has the opportunity to do the same sin (implying that circumstances are such that his desire to do the sin is the same) and this time does not do it! He is a Baal (master of) Teshuvah!" (Talmud Bavli Tractate Yoma 86b).
Once you have completed teshuvah, it is time for you to put the past where it belongs, behind you, and to refrain from worrying about the future. Now you must concentrate on refraining from your defective behavior in the present moment, right here, right now, today.
Wallowing and beating your chest as you agonize over the past, instead of accepting God's forgiveness and that of friends and family who have forgiven you, is yet another sin. Remember; "God is abundant in forgiveness (Is. 55:7)." And just as important as it for us to forgive others, it is equally important for us to accept Divine forgiveness and the forgiveness of others.
This leads me into the last phase of Selicah and Teshuvah. This phase is between you and God. It is actually easier than dealing with other people since you already know that God is all forgiving and that His gates of Teshuvah, of Repentance, of Return, of Renewal, are always open to us.
The night before their wedding, Alf and Bette were sharing confidences.
Alf said, "You must know something before we get married. I am a fanatic golfer. I eat, sleep and drink golf. Golf is my whole life. After we are married, I'll try for some balance but I doubt whether I'll succeed. Just understand - you're marrying a golf addict."
"I can live with that," said Bette, "now I'll tell you my secret - I'm a hooker."
"A hooker?" Alf repeated. "I can live with that. Next time, keep your head down and your left arm straight, then swing through the ball...."
Rabbi Yesa said, "The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to Israel, 'My sons, open the door of Repentance as the eye of a needle and I will open it for you so that wagons and carriages can pass through.'" (Shir HaShirim Rabbah 24).
Simply and humbly beg God to keep you from the defects of character that you cast away in your Tashlich phase and He will. If you ever feel tempted, ask Him again. If you have to leave the room or pull the car over so you can pray to God for His strength, do it. I guarantee you that if you remain faithful to your Spiritual Renewal, in time your fears, grudges, defects, et al that have plagued you for years will melt away.
One day, Hette approaches her Rabbi after the service and says to him, "Rabbi, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the Rabbi asks.
"They only know how to say, 'Hello, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?'"
"Why, that's terrible!" the Rabbi says, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house tomorrow and I will put them with my two male talking parrots that I taught to pray and read Hebrew. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Oh thank you, Rabbi," Hette replies.
The next day Hette brings her female parrots to the Rabbi's house. His two male parrots are wearing tiny yarmulkes and praying in their cage. Hette puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hello, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put away the siddurs! Our prayers have been answered!"
While doing teshuvah to God, ask Him to help you negate your ego and self will. In growing spiritually and getting closer to understanding God and living in His world, I refer you to a quote from Isaiah 54:13. "All your children are learned (students) of God." The word limud can mean to learn. It can also mean to teach. Another translation of this verse could be: "All your children are teachers of God." In other words, everyone wants to teach God how to run the universe.
Looking at it in writing you can clearly see that this is folly, but how many people do you know who make themselves and others miserable as they try to play God, trying to control everything and everyone around them? We talked about this in Chapter One, A Life Without God. Remember that God does not want you to be a doormat and let people walk all over you, but also remember that true Shalom only comes when you recognize what you can and cannot control. The only thing you can control are your own actions. If you don't like somebody else's behavior and you treat that person harshly, you are only teaching them to hate. Judaism teaches us to meet with love those who try to detract from us. If you do reprove somebody, do it with kindness and gentleness, and never embarrass them. The Talmud teaches we should rather throw ourselves into a burning oven than embarrass another person. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Ketuvot 67b).
The ego is what stands between you and God and between you and your fellows. If you resent somebody chances are, the Talmud teaches, that you actually resent a character defect of your own that you see in that person. Psychiatrists will tell you the same thing. The non-spiritual person would rather hold a grudge against that person than work on his own defect.
"I stood between God and you" (Deuteronomy 5:5). Moses is telling Israel that he was an intermediary between God and them at Sinai. But let us look at the verse literally. "I'' (ego) is actually a barrier that stands between you and God. Anochi is the Hebrew word used for "I." Beware of it for ego will edge God out of your life.
God does want you to have a healthy self-esteem, but He wants you to earn it by doing His will. He does not appreciate fake humility, self-anointing or vanity. "A vain person is one I cannot bear" (Psalms 101:5). Jacob said to Isaac when he was pretending he was Esau, "It is I, Esau your firstborn." (Genesis 27:19). Anochi was used here. The sages teach that the idea of wanting to be the "big man," being an "I," is a trait of Esau.
Jacob's self-concept was expressed in his statement "I am too small (undeserving) of all the kindnesses You have done for me." (Genesis 32:11). In the Kabbalah, about which we will learn more, Jacob is Tiferet. This word symbolizes adornment, mercy, peace, masculinity and even spirituality. He was in harmony with all. Jacob went with God's flow.
So as part of ongoing, living teshuvah to God and your fellows, continually assess the steps you will take to keep yourself truthful, to get rid of the destructive ego, self-seeking, grudges and separation from God. Develop a deep understanding that God is in charge, so when things occur in your life, good or bad, you can bless God equally and stay in a ruach, a spirit, of Shalom.
Hetty was the local gossip and self-appointed guardian of the town's morals. One day, she accused Moishe in front of a number of people of being an alcoholic, because she saw his car parked in front of the local wine merchant.
Moishe was a wise man. He just stared at her for a moment, said nothing and walked away.
Later that night, Moishe parked his car in front of Hetty's house and left it there until morning.
At this point in your Jewish Spiritual Renewal you are no longer in mitzraim (narrow), you are open, or nevi. You are now able to make great strides in your spirituality and your encounters with God. You are ready to learn how to pray. The next class will open your eyes, and your hearts, to what real Jewish prayer is. I'll give you a hint, it is not reciting page after page, from your sidurim (prayer books).
CHUMASH CANDESCENCE
PARASHA VA'ET-CHANAN
DEUTERONOMY 3:23- 7:11
RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL
Hilton Head Island, SC
Bluffton, SC
"A Listening People"
In the traditional Shacharit (morning) service one exclaims (also read
on page 756 of our Gates of Prayer):
"How happy are we! How blessed our lot! How sweet our destiny! How
magnificent our heritage! How happy are we that as we rise and as we lie
down, morning and evening, twice every day we proclaim:
Hear oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One."
This watchword of our faith, the Shema, is found is this week's Parasha
(Deut. 6:4). We also are retold the "Ten Commandments", albeit with some
different wording than is written in Exodus (Deut. 5:6-18). It has been
written that all of the 613 commandments in the Chumash (Five Books of
Moses) stem from one or more of these Ten Commandments. Even the sin of
slander is said to derive from the admonition not to steal and not to
murder, as when we commit loshan ha ra (slander) we steal and murder
someone's good name.
We as Jews are witnesses for God. No, we do not have to go out ringing
door bells and handing out copies of "The Watchtower." We have a hint to
this obligation in verse 6:4 in Deuteronomy. If you open to the Hebrew
page of your Chumash, you will note that the letters Yud in Shema (hear)
and the Daled in Yechud (one) are in a larger font. The letters
Yud-Daled, or "ed" is the Hebrew word for "witness."
If we delve deeper, we will come to realize that each of the "Ten
Commandments" has its roots in the Shema. If we really believed that God
is One, that God is "in charge of all", would we take His name in vain?
We certainly would not curse an employer to his face who provides us our
needed pay check to sustain our lives . If we truly believed the words of
the Shema , would we curse the Face of God who provides us with our very
existence and who is omnipresent? If we with certainty believed in the
Oneness of God, we would be able to rest on the Sabbath and fill our
lives ,on at least this day, with spiritual pursuits and forgo the
mundane? We would have the faith that we would not "lose out" if we did
not close a business deal or attend a secular social event on Shabbat.
We certainly would honor our parents who provided us with the vessel that
houses our Godly soul and who sustained us with physical nourishment. If
we believed in the concept of the Shema, how could we begin to steal
another's property, spouse, life, or good name, or even think jealously
of our fellow's status or belongings? If God is truly One,, then
everything we have or do not have is exactly the way He wishes it to be.
Is this a truism? Does the Shema leads us to complacency as well?
Of course the answer is "no" for the Jewish people. A people, who we are
traditionally taught that God Himself called "stiff necked", is certainly
not a candidate for a complacency award. We are taught this, albeit
subtlety, in verse 6:5. This verse begins what many call the "ve'ahavta "
(you shall love). Again, I invite you to open the Hebrew text. You will
note that the Hebrew word for "heart" (lev), is spelled incorrectly with
two vuvs (v's).
The rabbis interpret the heart as a metaphor for the seat of our craving
and aspiration. Rashi says this double vuv means we are to love God with
both our good and evil inclinations. The Talmudic sage Rabbi Yonah
says that this means we should use our good heart to perform mitzvoth and
to fight the bad heart's desire to sin. The Rambam (Maimonides) says that
the evil inclination (yetzah ha ra) refers to man's earthly cravings,
such as the desire for food, drink, sex, wealth, etc. The "ve'ahavta"
commandment demands that we channel our "base" drives into the service of
God and of good. The Talmudic rabbis stated wisely that without man's
yetzah ha ra, we would not build houses or have children. God does not
want us to be complacent and accepting of bad situations. He wants us to
fight with all of our might to change things to make them the best we can
here in our homes and on our earth. However, we are to do so in an
ethical manner. The ends do not serve to justify the means in Judaism.
What do we mean when we announce that God is One? It means that we can
perceive God in many ways throughout our lives. God can be angry, kind,
merciful, judgmental, wise, and yet seemingly stupid or uncaring. While
it is difficult for the human mind to grasp the concept that One entity
can be all of these, we are commanded to do so. In ancient times, people
had different gods for each of these manifestations. We are taught that
there is an inner harmony in all that God does. Whatever phase we are in
life, whatever is happening to us or in the world,--good, bad or
neutral--, we are commanded to believe in One God. This is why we bless
God, even at the grave sites of our beloved, by calling Him the "true
Judge."
In Talmud Tractate Berachot, the first book of the Talmud, the first
question asked, is when does one say the Shema. This leads the rabbis
into a fascinating discussion of the Shema, the Ve'ahavta, the Amidah
and kavenah (the concentrated intention of prayer). They clearly say that
it is better to say an abbreviated prayer in one's vernacular with
kavenah, then the complete prayer in Hebrew in rushed manner. A Chasidic
rabbe once defined kavenah in prayer as singing "Adon" in Adon Olam
(Master of the Universe), without already thinking of the word Olam.
In this Tractate the rabbis discuss the concept of loving God "with all
of your soul." Rashi says that this means that we should love God even if
it costs us our life. Rambam says this refers to the very rare situations
of idolatry, adultery and murder. Traditional Jewish law requires that
one give up his life rather than sin. In Beracoth 54A the rabbis say one
must love God even in the moment when He takes one's life. They recommend
that the Shema be on every dying Jew's lips. In Beracoth 62B, the story
is told of rabbi Akiva who joyously says the Shema in his last dying
breath as the Romans are torturing him by tearing off his flesh. His
students witness this and ask why he is so happy when he is in so much
pain. Rabbi Akiva answers,"all my life I prayed that I would be able to
maintain my love of God even if it cost me my life. Now that I succeeded
in doing so, should I not be happy?" The Talmud does not record if rabbi
Akiva then re-said the Shema to make sure they were indeed the last words
on his lips before death took him.
In the Ve'ahavta, the verse following the Shema, we are commanded to
love God. How does one command anyone to love anything? We are not even
asked to love our parents, only to honor them. In our traditional Ketubah
marriage contract a man is not commanded to love his wife, but only to
care for her. How do we love God? How do we say this part of our daily
service with kavenah?
The Rambam says that the Torah supplies the answer in the next few verses
in Deuteronomy 6:7-9. He says that Jews should think about the Torah,
study it and teach it. When one meditates on God's "great and wondrous
deeds and creations and sees in them His incomparable and infinite
wisdom, one will immediately come to love and to praise him and be filled
with longing to know Him." If only this were so easy. What if one thinks
of the Torah as Midrash (stories to teach a lesson)? What if one accepts
the critical theory of Torah's authorship? What if one does not believe
in the tales of Adam and Eve, the "Great Flood", burning bushes that
speak, the ten plagues including the Angel of Death and Moses on Mt.
Sinai for 120 days getting both the written and the oral law.
This is not a question asked sarcastically in the 21st-century CE. This
question was asked is earnest 900 years ago by the Spanish rabbi Brachya
Ibn Pakuda. His text "Duties of the Heart" is among the rarest jewels in
the crown of Jewish spirituality. It is available in paperback by
Feldheim Press. He writes that the commandments can be divided into
"duties of the limbs",--such as obeying Shabbat or not stealing--, and
"duties of the heart", which belong to "the hidden, private realm of the
wisdom of the inward life." Some of these many duties are to love God, do
not take revenge or bear grudges (Lev.18:18), do not hate your neighbor
(Lev 19:17), do not be tightfisted or hardhearted (Deut.15:7), love the
stranger (Deut 10:19) and not to covet (Deut. 5:18). He discovers that
the duties of the limb, which modern Jews call ritual, are a
small percentage of the 613 commandments, while the duties of the heart,
which we in modern Judaism still cling to, are many.
Ibn Pakuda was ahead of his time in Jewish thought in that he quoted
often from Greek and Muslim philosophy. Rambam did the same and was
castigated for it. Pakuda quotes his justification from Tractate Megillah
16A. "Anyone who speaks wisdom, even if he is from among the other
nations of the world, is called a wise man." Pakuda says that in order to
love God one must study. He says it is our duty to intellectually
investigate the subject of God's unity, and even His existence. He says
we should not accept the words of the Shema on faith alone. How many of
us say the Shema with our tongues but not our hearts? How many really
understand the meaning of God's existence and absolute Unity? Pakuda
discusses those that pronounce the words of the Shema with their tongues,
and think they are done with the matter of God's Oneness. He says they do
not realize that their hearts are empty of the Shema's true meaning, as
their thoughts are vacant of any knowledge of the subject. Pakuda says
many Jews declare God's unity with their tongues but do not conceive of
God within their hearts.
As a liberal Jew did you ever wonder why we stand up for the Shema while
at traditional shuls they remain seated? The answer for the
traditionalists is found Talmudically. Rabbi Hillel's school, the most
liberal rabbis of the Talmudic era, rules that one should remain seated
so as not to destroy one's kavenah. Rabbi Shammai's school, known as a
the more strict interpreters, rules that one should rise. This was at a
time when Jews prayed at their own pace. The Talmud agreed with Hillel's
school. Some modern Jews, following rabbi Shammai, rise to make a public
display in unison of our belief in the tenets of Judaism. But as rabbi
Pakuda alludes, do some of our actions before and after we state the
Shema serve to nullify its meaning?
If we really believed in God, would we treat some of our fellows
disrespectfully? Would we discuss fellow congregants behind their backs
and still smile to their faces? Or worse yet, would we snub them to their
faces? If we really believed in the Shema and the commandment to love God
that immediately follows it, I would hope that we as spiritual Jews could
truly accept the yoke of this one commandment. If we did accept this
mitzvah, so many other paths to help our fellow and treat him/her with
love would flow naturally from our hearts. Tikun Olam (repair of the
world) would not be just a slogan, but it would already be an
accomplishment.
I mentioned that the Ten Commandments listed in this Parasha differs in
wording from Exodus. In Deuteronomy 5:12 we are told to
"safeguard"(shomar) Shabbat. In Exodus 20:8 we are told to remember
(zachor) Shabbat. Many modern Jews threw off the yoke of "Shomar
Shabbos", as well as being observant of other ritual commandments. We
never agreed to do away with remembrance of our religion. Nor did we
ever agree to do away with the love and belief in God and the man-to-man
laws that abound throughout the Torah.
As liberal Jews we have an obligation to be informed Jews. The Greek
philosopher Epictetus said "Only the educated are free." We do not follow
rules and regulations on faith alone. Even the concept of God must be
intellectually understood and not just accepted on blind faith. We must
be a learning, thinking, grappling people. We have an obligation to teach
our children as well. As the Shema says, we must be a "listening people"
for our movement and our religion to survive.
Shabbat Shalom,
RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL
Hilton Head Island, SC
Bluffton, SC
Original version written while Scholar-in-Residence at Congregation Temple Mickve Israel, Savannah, GA
JEWISH RENEWAL:
JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL
Psssst...Have you heard the news? There's a new fashion blog, plus the latest fall trends and hair styles at StyleList.com.
