Bookmark and Share
Join Our Email List
Email:
For Email Newsletters you can trust

Rabbi Arthur Segal’s love of people, humanity, and Judaism has him sharing with others “The Wisdom of the Ages” that has been passed on to him. His writings for modern Jews offer Spiritual, Ethical, and eco-Judaic lessons in plain English and with relevance to contemporary lifestyles. He is the author of countless articles, editorials, letters, and blog posts, and he has recently published two books:

The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal: A Path of Transformation for the Modern Jew

and

A Spiritual and Ethical Compendium to the Torah and Talmud

You can learn more about these books at:

www.JewishSpiritualRenewal.org
ALL ENTRIES ARE (C) AND PUBLISHED BY RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL, INC, AND NOT BY ANY INDIVIDUAL EMPLOYEE OF SAID CORPORATION. THIS APPLIES TO 3 OTHER BLOGS (CHUMASH, ECO, SPIRITUALITY) AND WEB SITES PUBLISHED BY SAID CORPORATION.
Religion Blogs - Blog Rankings

Friday, January 2, 2009

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:JEWISH RENEWAL:JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL:KOSHER SEX:TALMUD

 
 
 Shalom:
 
The concept of saying  beracoth before doing mitzvoth reverts back to a number of theological  philosophies in the formation of Judaism out of the ashes of Hebraism, starting in 586 BCE. 
 
''R. Haggai and R. Jeremiah went to a grocery store to inspect its scales for accuracy.  R. Haggai eagerly recited a blessing over this obligation to examine the scales.  He said the blessing, 'Who sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to sanctify the weights and scales and to establish the measures.'  R. Jeremiah said to him:  'You have acted very well. For blessings must be recited for the performance of all the commandments.' (Talmud Yerushalmi Tractate Beracoth 6:1)''
 
One of these theological  philosophies  is the matter of spiritual intention (kavenah). We have not done a mitzvah if we have not the intent to do it. If a coin drops from our purse accidentally into a blind man's cup, we have not done an act of tsaddakah. If we have in our minds that we are not going to eat matzah on Pesach [Passover]... (which is a mitzvah)...., and accidentally eat a small piece of matzah, we have not fulfilled the mitzvah.
 
The beracha gets us to concentrate on the deed and to elevate what could be a mundane act, into a Holy one.
 
Another reason has to do with the actual covenant that Israel has with ha Shem. While anyone can eat matzah, even during the week of Passover, or have honest scales, or have sex with their spouse, Jews are commanded to do so. Any Noachide is supposed to be honest in business but these beracoth do not apply nor get said by him. They only get said by Jews to whom God gave the mitzvoth, both in the Torah, and traditionally, those in the oral law, e.g. the Mishna and its accompanying  Gemorah.
 
Now the beracha did not disappear. One of my adult Talmidim reports that his zaydee, who was a kosher butcher, checked his scales regularly, and made this beracha. He was obligated not only to treat the animals well, and slaughter them kindly and quickly, but also to treat his customers ethically. Just as he said beracoth before taking the life of an animal, he said beracoth while checking his scales to make sure they were accurate.
 
It may not be well known now, because the local secular governments check business scales, and not the local Beth Din. And local kosher butchers have been replaced by large meat packing houses who it seems from the press lately, will have their owners and so-called rabbis, praying that their cell mates don't become overly fond of them.
 
It has been asked of me is there a beracha to say before giving tsaddakah. Every time we say the blessings of gomal (thanksgiving), or are at a Jewish funeral where we ask God to take care of the departed,  or we ask  God daily for forgiveness of our sins, or beseech God for a 'favor,' all of these prayers, most of which (aside from the funeral one) are daily, we promise God we will do tsaddakah, that day. So the prayers before doing tsaddakah are multiple and do not have to be repeated when we actually put gelt into the 'charity' box or put the check into the mail.
 
Remember that the word "tsaddakah" is derived from the Hebrew root Tzadei-Dalet-Qof, meaning righteousness, justice or fairness. In Judaism, giving to the poor is not viewed as a generous, magnanimous act; it is simply an act of justice and righteousness, the performance of a duty, giving the poor their due.
 
We also need to be careful in this day and age of individuals and organizations, even if they have 501C3 status to make sure that the money we give is not lining the pockets of the individuals who are running the organization. One can go to www.GuideStar.org and type in the name of the organization and the city and state and look at tax returns. One of my Talmidim's accountant  was shocked when he found that many Jewish organizations, were taking tsaddakah funds, which she thought was going to be used to help others learn Torah, Talmud, etc, and were paying Rabbinic wages and living expenses.
 
Now, one Talmudic commentator says that the blessing Rabbi Haggai said was,'' Blessed are You, Lord our God, who has hallowed us with commandments and commanded us to rectify the measures and scales and to adjust the price.'' Now indeed this is Torah as well as Talmudic law. Retail prices could only be a certain percentage over the actual wholesale price and the Beth Din could force a Jewish shop keeper to lower his prices and of course adjust his scales if they were crooked.
 
But a matter of public embarrassment comes into play here. The Talmud also tells us we should throw ourselves into an oven before embarrassing someone. And stores were souks, open, not closed the way they are today. This prayer assumes the store owner is a gonef. Perhaps this blessing might be said after the first one, [which is for inspection of the scales], only if a problem has been found and needs to be corrected.
 
Remember, it is one mitzvah for the shop owner to check to see if he has honest scales and not even to keep crooked ones. It is another mitzvah ,of a Rabbinic nature, to check for dishonest scales and prices and to correct them, in the act of seeking a just society.(pursuing tsaddakah).
 
While the Talmud teaches us specific beracoth, it also tells us to be able to say blessings of gratitude to God spontaneously in our own words. Jewish Spiritual Renewal reminds us of this and so did the Ba'al Shem Tov. Blessings done by rote loose all kavenah  over time. So we can and should say beracoth for mitzvoth that we do all of the time to thank God for all of his wonders.
 
 In teaching folks to have an attitude of gratitude,I prefer  that people start with the prayers set down for us. When one is adept at doing all of them, including the morning prayers,  washing of the hands, the first breath, using the toilet, the beracoth ma mazon, all of the pre- food blessings, then one is able to move on and add in the ones the sages may have left out.
 
Now I have been asked what is an appropriate beracha to say before having sex in a Jewish marriage. And the Talmud does offer a blessing when one sees a miracle. For some, the blessing might be a Sheckiahnu, as sex could be seasonal.
 
There are four beracoth which the sages in Talmud Yerushalmi Tractate Boneh 18f *** say can be done before having sex with one's spouse:
 
1) Borei p'ri ha-eitz - blessing over the fruit of the Tree.

2) Baruch Atah Hashem zokeif k'fuffim - Straighten those who are bent.

3) Baruch Atah Hashem ya'aleh v'yovo - Arise and come.

4) Baruch Atah Hashem Mechayei hameitim - Raise the dead.
 
When sex is completed and it was satisfying, the later rabbis recommend singing  a few stanzas of Dayanu. If sex was boring or failed in some way, the beracha, ''Dayan Emet,'' is appropriate. At no time, should one yell out the name of another religion's Deity, or his mother or father.
 
In the Torah, the word used for sex between husband and wife comes from the root Yod-Dalet-Ayin, meaning "to know," which vividly illustrates that proper Jewish sexuality involves both the heart and mind, not merely the body. If one has multiple wives, one is allowed to sing the second line of Echad Mi Yodaya to as many wives as one has. Jacob who had four was known to have sang: Arba ani yode'a.
 
But seriously, sex is quite liberal in Judaism and not just for procreation. Sex between husband and wife is permitted (even recommended) at times when conception is impossible, such as when the woman is pregnant, after menopause, or when the woman is using a permissible form of contraception .
 

''Nevertheless, Judaism does not ignore the physical component of sexuality. The need for physical compatibility between husband and wife is recognized in Jewish law. A Jewish couple must meet at least once before the marriage, and if either prospective spouse finds the other physically repulsive, the marriage is forbidden.

Sex should only be experienced in a time of joy. Sex for selfish personal satisfaction, without regard for the partner's pleasure, is wrong and evil. A man may never force his wife to have sex. A couple may not have sexual relations while drunk or quarreling. Sex may never be used as a weapon against a spouse, either by depriving the spouse of sex or by compelling it. It is a serious offense to use sex (or lack thereof) to punish or manipulate a spouse.

Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah  (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic  obligation to procreate.

Although sex is the woman's right, she does not have absolute discretion to withhold it from her husband. A woman may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement provided for in the ketubah. 

Although some sources take a more narrow view, the general view of halakah.  is that any sexual act that does not involve sh'chatat zerah (destruction of seed, that is, ejaculation outside the vagina) is permissible. As one passage in the Talmud states, "a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife." (Nedarim 20b) In fact, there are passages in the Talmud that encourage foreplay to arouse the woman. (Nedarim 20a).''

Shalom,

Rabbi Arthur Segal

JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL

JEWISH RENEWAL

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, SC

BLUFFTON,SC

SAVANNAH, GA

Acknowledgments for the last quoted 5 paragraphs to Tracey R Rich.

*** This is Tongue in Cheek, please.