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RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:JEWISH RENEWAL:JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: AA, AMENDS + TESHUVAH
Shalom Talmudim v' Chaverim:
The question was raised about doing Teshuvah if one would place themselves in legal jeopardy.
We need to understand first the Talmudic understanding of Teshuvah, [of making someone whole again, using spiritual principals], and repentance.
"Repentance" in Hebrew is not teshuvah but "charatah". Not only are these two terms not synonymous. They are opposites.
Charatah implies remorse or a feeling of guilt about the past and an intention to behave in a completely new way in the future. The person decides to become "a new man." But teshuvah means "returning" to the old, to one's original nature. Underlying the concept of teshuvah is the fact that the Jew is, in essence, good. Desires or temptations may deflect him temporarily from being himself, being true to his essence. But the bad that he does is not part of, nor does it affect, his real nature. Teshuvah is a return to the self. While repentance involves dismissing the past and starting anew, teshuvah means going back to one's roots in God and exposing them as one's true character.
For this reason, while the righteous have no need to repent, and the wicked may be unable to, both may do teshuvah. The righteous, though they have never sinned, have constantly to strive to return to their innermost. And the wicked, however distant they are from God, can always return, for teshuvah does not involve creating anything new, only rediscovering the good that was always within them.
Charatah implies remorse or a feeling of guilt about the past and an intention to behave in a completely new way in the future. The person decides to become "a new man." But teshuvah means "returning" to the old, to one's original nature. Underlying the concept of teshuvah is the fact that the Jew is, in essence, good. Desires or temptations may deflect him temporarily from being himself, being true to his essence. But the bad that he does is not part of, nor does it affect, his real nature. Teshuvah is a return to the self. While repentance involves dismissing the past and starting anew, teshuvah means going back to one's roots in God and exposing them as one's true character.
For this reason, while the righteous have no need to repent, and the wicked may be unable to, both may do teshuvah. The righteous, though they have never sinned, have constantly to strive to return to their innermost. And the wicked, however distant they are from God, can always return, for teshuvah does not involve creating anything new, only rediscovering the good that was always within them.
Understanding this, that our souls are always pure, but that we gather schmutz upon them with our defective behaviors, teshuvah, becomes a spiritual power washing. Hence even to the person who never was 'of God', we call it teshuvah, because he turned his back to God, God never turned His face from him, and even if he began sinning a moment after his birth, for that moment, he was spiritually connected to God.
The case that was written in Judaic and psychology journals, doing alcohol counseling via the 12 steps, which are all Talmudic, involved a fellow, who raped a girl with a soda bottle, when drunk and in college. The girl was drunk and supposedly never knew the details of the incident. In doing teshuvah, we located the women, many years later, admitted his wrongs to her, and since she lived in a state where rape had no statutory limit, he was arrested, convicted and now serving time in prison.
In AA and in the Ba'al Teshuvah steps, and in the steps of Jewish Spiritual Renewal, one doesn't go running to make amends until one consults with their sponsor, their rabbi, and in all cases gets Guidance from God.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous discusses a case in which making amends may cause someone jail time. Step 8 is that one is willing to make amends to all that they have harmed, while step 9 is making those amends as long as one does not injure them or others. Is the person making the amends an 'other?' Page 78 begins to answer this question. "Perhaps we have a committed a criminal offense which might land us in jail," and ends on page 79 with asking God for the strength to do the right thing, ''no matter what the personal consequences may be,''..''we may face jail, but we are willing...we must not shrink at anything.''
But in wonderful Talmudic discourse, we than have 'on the other hand.' And if AA, ba'al teshuvah, and Jewish Spiritual Renewal is all about getting rid of ego, and living a life helping others, is opening up healed wounds of a rape survivor, who didn't remember the incident, helping her or harming her? It is obviously harming her!!! And it is not step 9, not teshuvah at all!! It was darn selfishness.
No AA sponsor worth his salt would have given permission to a sponsee to do this. Nor would a rabbi. And as it turned out the fellow did this without consulting his sponsor.
Rabbis and AA sponsors agree. I have had to deal with this situation time and time again. If the fellow has long since stopped this horrid behavior, it is much better to send money, an amount that stings, to a rape crisis center anonymously, than open up wounds with a rape survivor, and also get your self tossed into jail, where even Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, says there is no rehabilitation taking place, and advises those doing ba'al teshuvah, to turn themselves into a Bet Din for spiritual penance than the American justice system. Many times men going thru a Jewish Spiritual Renewal process or AA haven't a clue to the women's names that they abused or raped, many of them being prostitutes.
When we have congregants who want to make amends but the person won't let them because it will open up wounds, leave that person alone. In AA, similar to Judaism, if we cannot see a person, we write a letter, burn it, and let God play the Eternal Post Man. As with all Talmudic mitzvoth, intent is more important than completing the mitzvah. If one's sponsee is sincere in step 8 of being willing to make amends to everyone, it is up to the sponsor, to par down that list so he can do a rational step 9 and not hurt himself, his family, or the original person he harmed with his sinful actions.
This is the same in Judaism also.
Teshuvah, like in AA, is part of the spiritual growth process. And the Talmud tells us God has forgiven us our sin, when He places us in the same situation to do the sin again, and we do not do it.
In my book The Handbook of Jewish Spiritual Renewal: A Path of Transformation for the Modern Jew, the chapter on Teshuvah and Selicah addresses these points in much detail with quotes from the Talmud and other Judaic sources.
Shalom,
Rabbi Arthur Segal
Jewish Spiritual Renewal
Jewish Renewal
Hilton Head Island, SC
Bluffton, SC
Savannah, GA
